I love you so much but I can’t make you happy. You have so much faith in me but I don’t have any in myself. I have to let you go for your own sake. I don’t want you to waste anymore time with me. But why won’t you let me? Why won’t you just leave the monster that I am?

Why?

I feel so alone.

…

Fuck this bullshit.

I really miss my boyfriend…

“Who’s your friend? She’s kinda cute.”

capncupcake:

What does that even mean?

No, I think I got it. Reading between the lines, hint taken, loud and clear.

I’m so fucking foolish.

I know how that feels. :/

(Source: st-vanillabean)

Changes

Today, my boyfriend said to me, “What happened to the old you? You used to be so nice…”

I had no idea how to even answer him and tbh, I don’t know what happened. I know I’ve changed. When I met him, I was still growing up and just beginning to see what the world was really about. Before I had such a stupid notion of the world because honestly my little bubble was perfect. That isn’t how the world is though. It’s full of things you don’t want to happen and rarely do you get what you want.

I’ve grown up and opened my eyes to a lot of things since we started dating. I suppose that in some way, life is the reason why I’m not “nice” anymore but ultimately it is MY life and my choices to bring me to such a point in life.

So here I am, at a crossroads, to continue on this self destructive path or to deviate from what is easy and actually keep a little bit of that childlike optimism I used to have.

I never wanted to change into such a hateful person…